11 Hilarious Yelp Reviews

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Imagine if someone from the post-apocalyptic future found a computer in a vault, turned it on and landed on Yelp, or any other review site for that matter. My hunch is, that person would then understand why he or she is living in a world covered in ashes.

Over the next seven minutes, you’re about to embark on 11 hilarious—okay ridiculous—Yelp reviews that will not only give ya a laugh and some grave insights about humanity, but also a little dose of reality.

The pleasure centers will be tingling whilst reading the shenanigans, but undoubtedly, if you’re like most marketers, the business side of you won’t be able to help but wonder what kind of impact reviews like these are having on a business’s reputation.

Why are we focusing on Yelp? The name itself is synonymous with online reviews. It’s where most local businesses (your clients) focus their attention when it comes to review sites. Did you know over 89 million unique mobile users in last year’s Q4 alone visited Yelp? That’s right, mobile—inferring millions of customers are searching for reviews with buying intent.

Before we get into the moral of the story, let’s take a look at 11 beauty reviews.

11. Normal, no?

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10. When in Rome is what I always say.

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9. There’s something to be said about honesty.

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8. You won’t see this one coming.

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7. This guy’s been partying for weeks. Maybe it’s time to turn the Yelp off, and hit the sack brah.

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6. Not even Yosemite National Park is off limits. Take note: this reviewer (with 142 reviews) is what is known as a “Yelper”. A loyalist, a crusader… or someone with nothing better to do.

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5. Damn… even when they’re good, they’re bad.

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4. This guy cleaned up at the HLAs last year (Hate Life Awards).

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3. Hey, two stars not bad, considering… (I had to).Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 2.22.14 PM

 

2. Fair enough, false advertising gets this joint one star.

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1. What kind of sick world would we be living in if Yelp didn’t have an update function? Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.42.46 PM

If those beauties didn’t lighten your day just a bit, maybe it’s time to put down the Nietzsche. True some of it was ridiculous; however, there is a learning point to be had here. Good review, bad review, weird review, no business is immune to being talked about and judged online. 

The crazy thing is, reviews like those above have real power. Did you know, 74% of people trust online reviews the same way they do personal recommendations (Search Engine Land)? Sometimes this really backs a business into a corner, as they have no control over what customers say about them on sites like Yelp… or do they?

Find out how to help local businesses manage reviews and take control of their online reputation. Download the Ultimate Guide to Online Reviews.

Jamie Taylor

Jamie is a Content Marketing Strategist, specializing in copy development and lead generation communications.