By Want to learn how to avoid bad reviews? You'll need to get friendly with Google and their review army.
What Google, and by extension Google Reviews, says about you is pretty influential in the digital age. We hate to sound like a broken record, but 65% of global consumers trust online search engines the most when researching a business, so it’s clear that Google Reviews hold a lot of power for you and your business’s reputation (Edelman).
The need for guidance on online reputation was clear to me before I even started writing this blog. I mean, check out the top keyword suggestions Spyfu pulled up when I was doing my keyword research. All I had searched for was “Google Reviews.”
Sometimes, it’s best to learn by example. I’ve taken a deep dumpster dive into Google Reviews, rummaging through the internet to pull up the most garbage reviews I can find to teach you how to avoid bad reviews yourself (you’re welcome).
Are you getting garbage Google reviews? Learn the right response tactics with these templates.
If you want to skip the tips, and just see the gems of the garbage dumpster dive and the worst Google reviews, you can jump down to that here.
The Worst Garbage Reviews on Google
County Waste & Recycling
Our Google Reviews dumpster dive starts in the city of New York, New York, with County Waste & Recycling.
Yes. I really meant garbage reviews.
This particular trash-handling organization has a whopping overall rating of 1 star on Google (please hold your applause until the end). My deep dumpster dive into New York waste management pulled up this review gem for County Waste & Recycling:
There’s a lot to unpack from this heated review. It’s a little confusing to understand, but it looks like Jean has been with County Waste & Recycling for 15 years, yet she’s now run into financial issues with the collectors. Now, not only does this New York company collect garbage, but they’ve become it as well.
Money mistakes and billing have cost County Waste & Recycling more than a few customers, as it looks like almost 40% of their reviews mention financial issues. Make no mistake, folks. Money is a sensitive issue, and if your company mishandles it, you’ll have angry Google Reviewers on your heels.
Bad review breakdown:
- Financial issues (+50)
- Bad customer service (+50)
- “Worst company ever” (10 x 2 = +20)
- All caps (+10)
- Garbage joke (+10)
Garbage company sentence: 140 years of living as garbage
? Garbage tip to avoid bad reviews: Keep your reviews from “sucking big time !!!” by making sure your finances and calculations run smoothly. Mistakes happen, so if you mess up, try offering a promotion or giving a discount for your services to keep your clients happy and avoid churn.
Portland Disposal & Recycling
Portland, Oregon is home to the world’s largest continual chocolate waterfall, the largest log cabin in the world, Matt Groening and Portland Disposal & Recycling.
You guessed it, another garbage company with garbage Google reviews.
Over 73 reviews, these guys have managed to pull in an overall 2.1 star rating.
One thing I must say about Portland garbage reviewers is that they produce the most eloquent, articulate reviews I’ve had the pleasure of reading deep in the reviews dumpster.
There’s not much work for me to translate this review into something legible, as Dan’s already explained (in detail) the entire issue, and provided a remedy. Ancient technology, especially when you trust it to handle your billing, is never a good idea when you want to cultivate a good reputation.
Bad review breakdown:
- Financial issues (+50 )
- Software issues (+50)
- Bad customer service (+50)
- Garbage joke (+10)
Garbage company sentence: 160 robots taking their jobs
? Garbage tip to avoid bad reviews: Keep your software up-to-date to provide fast and efficient service to your customers. Never say “no dev necessary” when your software is handling people’s money.
Rubatino Refuse Removal Inc.
Our next stop in the Google reviews dumpster is Everette, Washington. The star company in this city is Rubatino Refuse Removal Inc., or as the reviews would have it, Rubatino Refuse to Removal Inc. From 35 reviewers, this refuse management company has cultivated a stellar rating of 2.1 stars.
Another eloquent review about financial issues due to an antiquated system. When will the waste management industry learn that even they have to keep up with modern technology?
Bad review breakdown:
- Financial issues (+50)
- Software issues (+50)
- Bad customer service (+50)
- All caps (10 x 2 = +20)
Garbage company sentence: 170 unpaid bills
? Garbage tip to avoid bad reviews: Make the process for your customers as easy as possible. Too many steps, or too tight restriction in your options will leave you with unhappy dumpster owners. People don’t like to be confused, and are often too busy to try and figure out complex systems.
Related Reading: How to Build Trust and Turn Customer Experiences into Stars
WCA Waste Corporation
Through many years of hard work and determination, garbage industry giant, WCA Waste Corporation, has become one with their service (garbage), and earned themselves a 1.6 star rating out of 45 reviews.
Jordan tells it like it is in this snappy, well-constructed garbage review. Your customers shouldn’t have to babysit you to do your job. If you promise services, you need to be able to follow through!
Bad review breakdown:
- Unreliable (+50)
- Bad customer service (+50)
- Garbage joke (+10)
- All caps (+10)
Garbage company sentence: 120 angry voicemails
? Garbage tip to avoid bad reviews: Follow through on your promised services! Stick to your schedules, service agreements and promises you make. Being unreliable makes you untrustworthy, and will chase your paying customers away.
Tiger Sanitation
Okay, this is probably the worst ratio of review rating to review volume I’ve seen so far in the bad Google reviews dumpster. Over 185 reviews, Tiger Sanitation in San Antonio has earned themselves a 1.7 star rating.
So how does Tiger Sanitation win themselves such an appalling rating? Let’s see what the Google reviewers have to say.
Looks like trash piling up for weeks in front of your yard is bound to make you hit the SHIFT key a little harder than usual.
Bad review breakdown:
- Unreliable (+50)
- Financial issues (+50)
- Bad customer service (+50)
- All caps (5 x 10 = +50)
- “Worst company ever” (+10)
Garbage company sentence: 210 weeks worth of rotting garbage
? Garbage tip to avoid bad reviews: If, for whatever reason, you are unable to fulfill your services:
1. Discontinue billing, and offer a promotion or special deal if possible on other services
2. Keep the line of communication constant, open and honest. Don’t leave them wondering what’s happening, or you may become just another “Po-dunk Mickey Mouse outfit.”
Get more guidance on how to avoid bad reviews by checking out our Ultimate Guide!
American Disposal Services of Georgia
The shining gem of Georgian garbage comes in the form of the American Disposal Services of Georgia, with a 1.9 star rating across 109 reviews.
So reassuring to see that most of those 5 star reviews are coming from “A Google User.” Just wait. It gets better.
Let’s let another anonymous user paint this nightmarish scene:
It’s called a garbage can, not a garbage con, Georgia.
Bad review breakdown:
- Financial issues (+50)
- Bad customer service (+50)
- All caps (10 x 4 = +40)
Garbage company sentence: 140 years of a binding contract to hell
? Garbage tip to avoid bad reviews: Make the signing process for your products/service easy to understand, and walk your customers through every step of the way. Nobody wants to be conned into a service they don’t understand or need.
The Worst Google Review Gems
I didn’t have a specific tip for these gems from my Google reviews dumpster dive, but they definitely deserve a minute in the spotlight. These are the worst (and most hilarious) reviews I came across on Google.
That’s all, folks!
Have any gems you’ve dug up from the Google reviews trash bin? We love seeing terrible reviews. Send your screenshots my way, or let me know in the comments below!